Instinct
by GirlquinndreameR
Summary: SS They never thought an accidental meeting could result into so much. Syaoran will learn to follow his gut instincts even if that means losing it all...complete
1. Part 1

Instinct

Author's jibberish: It's been a long while since I've written an S+S! This story was actually going to be written by my sister, Xiaoyu Ling (Ms. Sakura + Syaoran writer) but she lost interest in it. However, I wanted to pick it up because it would be a shame to not share it! The creators of the characters are credited to CLAMP

The day was bright, with golden sunshine lighting the track. That day will forever be burned in my memory and every time I think about it, it seems as if it happened only a few hours ago. But, in truth, it had been about 3 months. 

I finished a lap around the track already. It was around springtime. I just finished doing a photo shoot for the cherry blossom festival...so it was in mid-April: April 13. How could I remember an exact day? It was an important day.

I downshifted and pulled to a stop at my station of the track. In a fury, I yanked the keys out of my car and growled. "Stupid..."

"What's a matter?" came a voice. I looked up and saw the source. He was standing at the front row benches, hands casually in his pockets. 

"Nothing, Hiiragizawa. It's my clutch," I explained. "I think I need to get a new one."

"Why? Are you slipping?"

"I might soon."

"Do you want me to look at it later?"

"Naw, it's alright I can do it." Hiiragizawa Eriol was my partner in everything. We met in college, during some of our college classes. I was in school for about a year when I decided to pursue photography. Then, I transferred to Japan around the same time he did; we attended the same classes. After graduation, we studied under the same person, Ojiro Shibuyo, a photographer for the local magazine, Tomoeda Streets. Tomoeda Streets covered trends, events and other things that involved the local tourism. Eventually, Ojiro-san retired and the magazine wanted us to work for them. It's been almost a whole year since we started working for T Streets. 

We also developed a love for the same pastime: cars. And I don't mean just any 'look at the pretty mobiles' or whatever. I mean, drag-racing cars. The intense rush of competition is better than any drug. Of course, I didn't do it on the streets...much. There was a man who was passionate enough (and rich enough), so he developed a controlled track for racing. It was kinda like a club; we had to pay membership and that paid for use of the track. Of course, there would be races for prize money but only Hiiragizawa, me and about 8 other people would participate. There weren't a lot of racers in Tomoeda and it wasn't exactly a famous job. You gained enough reputation in the 'underground racing world' and some people in the bigger districts may actually ask you to join their clique based on what car you drive and how well you drive it.

Me? I drove a Nissan Skyline R34. It was a 2.6 litre engine with 280 horsepower and Nismo racing parts. Inside were racing bucket seats, mint green LED lights, a Nismo shortshifter, spearmint headlights, pearl green coat of paint...sorry, I'm going into a lot of detail. Just to make it short, I spent about 3 years fixing up that car to my specifications...

Hiiragizawa, on the other hand, drove a Toyota Supra. It was dark midnight with blue lights, TRD parts with a Trust blow off valve...Sorry, there I go again; babbling. As you can tell, racing was a strong passion of mine. 

In fact, we both lived in a cheap boarding house because we spent all our money fixing up our cars. The landlady said it was cute we had a hobby...a very cute expensive hobby, but cute nonetheless. She said once "You're not in the yakuza, right? Okay, just wondering." 

"I'll park in the garage and we can get out of here," I told him.

"Hurry up, we have 1/2 an hour." Hiiragizawa left the stadium. 

I parked my car inside the garage, next to his car (We shared a garage because that cost less than one garage each). I secured everything and left. 

Our 'ride' on the job wasn't as nice as our 'hobby rides'. It was a 1987 Toyota van. We needed a van to transport all our equipment since the magazine calls for us to take location shoots all over town. Gas money would be draining us completely; luckily, T Streets paid for that. 

We arrived at the King Penguin Park around 2:00 pm. I noticed Hiiragizawa was looking particularly fidgety. "How do I look?" he asked, making sure his hair was straight. "I look okay...not poor and desperate right?"

"You look like you," I answered.

He groaned. "Like that's any better."

I just remembered that we were shooting for the T Streets first summer issue of the season. That day's schedule called for a photo shoot with Daidouji Tomoyo, a local model. We worked with her once for the winter Christmas shoot; Hiiragizawa was hooked ever since.

We started setting up all the equipment. When we finished, Daidouji already arrived. She was a young woman with light black hair, the fairest porcelain skin I've ever seen and dark purple eyes. She greeted Hiiragizawa and me with a hug and I was positive Hiiragizawa would die a happy man right then and there. She headed to the hair and make-up trailer while we sat around waiting. It took about 45 minutes for her to come out, fully dressed in a yellow slinky sundress and white sandals. "Ready," she smiled.

"Great," my partner squeaked. "Carry shall we on?"

I shook my head. Pitiful... "Ok, Daidouji, I need you to sit right here," I instructed, standing beside a swing. "Lose the hat, it gets in the way of your face. We can use it later for the railing shot." She gently took it off and handed it to her assistant, who was close by. The hairstylist came zooming beside her, readjusting her curls. " These first few shots look at me. Hiiragizawa will take care of the rest." I settled my camera in my hand. "Ok, here we go."

I snapped about 5 shots before I told her to tilt her head slightly to the left. I began taking a 3/4 view of Daidouji but then I heard Hiiragizawa say, "Wait!" I took a shot but through the lens, it wasn't the model. It was of another person, with short ginger hair, olive skin and the biggest, brightest green eyes I've ever seen. Her back was turned to me and her face was towards the camera. 

She bowed in apology over a million times, but I just smiled and reassured her that it was all right. She kept saying she was looking at her feet as she was walking and didn't realize what she had walked upon. 

That first image... I will carry it with me wherever I go...

* *

Author's jibberish (again): Thank you Super Street and Import Tuner for your resources. Also to my boyfriend, who loves cars like a religion. Your hobby now has come of use to me...and may you never read this because you'd probably be ashamed. I tried to make it simpler to understand in case there were readers who don't get the whole racing thing (like me!) If I did get anything wrong, give me the benefit of the doubt please!

**Preview of next Chapter**

I was such a fool. I didn't even notice it before it was too late. What if I was actually watching where I was going? I guess that if I was, I wouldn't be where I am today. 

It was mid-April and I was walking through King Penguin Park when it all happened. I just got off from work and I was on my way home. I decided to take the shortcut through the park. There were some things on my mind; my boss got angry with me because I didn't sort the shampoo bottles on the bottom rack.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I work at a small beauty shop in Tomoeda named 'Beautiful'. It's run by Wari Okasaba, a strict beautician in her mid 40's. She's nice enough but strict to her employees; she expects the best. That's probably why a lot of people give up working there after a while. It's a nice little shop really. 

The whole ordeal was bothering me, and I was watching the passing brick path as I walked. "Wait!" I heard someone called. I turned around and saw a camera pointing right at me. The man pulled the camera away from his face and I saw the most stunning amber eyes in the whole world. 


	2. Part 2

Instinct

Author's jibberish: Thanks to those who reviewed!

I was such a fool. I didn't even notice it before it was too late. What if I was actually watching where I was going? I guess that if I was, I wouldn't be where I am today. 

It was mid-April and I was walking through King Penguin Park when it all happened. I just got off from work and I was on my way home. I decided to take the shortcut through the park. There were some things on my mind; my boss got angry with me because I didn't sort the shampoo bottles on the bottom rack.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I work at a small beauty shop in Tomoeda named 'Beautiful'. It's run by Wari Okasaba, a strict beautician in her mid 40's. She's nice enough but strict to her employees; she expects the best. That's probably why a lot of people give up working there after a while. It's a nice little shop really. 

The whole ordeal was bothering me, and I was watching the passing brick path as I walked. "Wait!" I heard someone called. I turned around and saw a camera pointing right at me. The man pulled the camera away from his face and I saw the most stunning amber eyes in the whole world. I almost choked, just staring at him...and probably because of my full-fledge embarrassment.

"Hoe! I'm so very sorry!" I bowed to the photographer. I tilted my head up and he was...smiling? I couldn't believe it. There was a strange twinkle in his eyes that I couldn't name. 

He just shook his head. "It's alright. It was a mistake. No harm was done." 

I looked around and bowed to everyone in sight. No one knew the embarrassment flowing through my body at that moment. "Sorry, sorry..." I continued to say. When I turned back to him, that same interesting look was in that photographer's eyes. I continued walking, so I could get out of their way. I couldn't help but steal a backward glance of that amber-eyed photographer.

I had no idea that I'd be seeing him again.

About two days later, I was at work when Wari-san asked me to sweep up all the hairs on the floor. I took out the big broom from the closet and at the same time, I heard a "Yeah, I just need a hair cut."

I peered from behind the door, and behold, it was the very same photographer! My heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

"We have a special this month," my co-worker, Chiharu explained. "Haircuts come with a free shampooing. Would you like that?"

"Sure," he took off his brown jacket and black Nismo racing cap, revealing the unruly brown hair underneath it. He gave his belongings to Chiharu, who placed them in a cubby under the counter. 

She led him to the sink area, and placed a towel around his neck. "Lean back, sir," she instructed him. She turned on the showerhead faucet. 

Something urged me to step forward and go toward him. "Chiharu-chan," I whispered. "I can take care of it."

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I told her. "You can take care of the register."

She shrugged. "Ok." And she quietly returned to her station.

I took the nozzle and directed it onto his hair. His hair was like silk; I know it's cliché to say but I never thought men could have hair like that. Well, he did. As I was shampooing his head, I remembered the rich amber eyes he had. They seemed so deep...my thoughts drifted back to the park...

And my clumsy, shampoo-hand slipped, brushing over his right eye. I heard him grunt a "What the...?"

I was absolutely mortified. "Hoe!" I practically screamed. 

At perfect timing, Wari-san approached me. "What happened?"

"I...I..." I stammered. He sat up, took the end of his towel and rubbed away the suds. 

Well, Wari-san put two and two together. "Oh, I'm so sorry sir!" she apologized, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"It's alright," he muttered.

She snapped towards me, sharply pushing me only enough to step back. "And you! Stop goofing around. You're daydreaming, that's why it happened. Go clean the front and tell Chiharu to come here."

"Ok," I said meekly. I bowed to him, "I'm very sorry Sir."

He turned to me, took a double take and realized who I was. "It...it's alright. No harm done."

Sad and humiliated, I left. 

But luck seemed to shine upon me because at the end of the day, I realized he forgot his hat. Chiharu must have forgotten it and only given him his jacket. Well, I had the day off so I decided to give it back. There was only one problem: I didn't know where he would be. So, I checked out his credit card payment before I left work that night. It turned out his name was Li Syaoran and thank goodness there was only one Li Syaoran listed in the telephone book. I found out he owned a studio right here in Tomoeda, not far from Beautiful. So, I took the liberty to grab the hat and head to his studio. 

It was part of a complex right on top of a music lounge. I climbed the stairs and saw the door was already opened. Hesitantly, I walked inside and saw Li-kun and his partner discussing something about a layout of some kind. I coughed a small "Um, excuse me."

They both turned to me. Immediately Li-kun smiled and approached me. "Hello. How are you?"

"I'm alright," I answered, clutching the cap. Does he recognize me, I asked myself. "How about you? How's your eye?"

He chuckled, and then absentmindedly had his fingers brush his right eye. "Oh, I'm fine. I can still see."

An uncomfortable giggle escaped me. "Yeah...oh!" I handed him his black hat. "Here. You forgot this at the parlor."

He took it. "Thanks." We both looked down to the floor, wordless. 

I could have left then and there, but I badly wanted to stay. "So, what are you doing?"

"Oh, just working out the other shots for next month's magazine?"

"Oh, that's nice," I said. More silence.

And then a cough.

We both turned to a figure standing a few feet behind me. 

Li-kun looked stunned, as if he just woke up from a daze. "Oh yeah! That's..." he blanked out, "Um...that guy..."

"I'm Hiiragizawa Eriol," the blue-haired man smiled. I had no idea how important he would be to me later. 

But this isn't about him, now is it?

I bowed. "It's nice to meet you."

"Are you busy right now?" Eriol-kun asked me. When I answered no, he pulled me right in front of a crème and black marble background. "How about some practice shots, huh, Li-kun?"

"Hoe? Practice?"

"Yeah, we got a new camera today and need to test out the capacities of it, right?" Eriol-kun turned to Li-kun.

"New?" Li-kun was elbowed in the stomach by his partner. "Right, right! Yeah, new camera. Is it alright if we take shots of you for practice?"

Now, this was my first time as a model. I mean, I've done home shots at family parties and things like that but it was weird to be asked to model. "Um...sure?"

"Great!" Eriol-kun exclaimed. "Now just pose, act goofy, whatever."

So I did. I spent 5 minutes skipping, raising my arms, and overall posing like a little kid in front of a camera. They just smiled and said "Good, that's good!" 

But Eriol-kun interrupted the session when he tapped on Li-kun's shoulder. "It's 1:00. Are we still going to the track?"

"Track?" I asked.

"Yeah. We race over at Tomoeda Raceways," Eriol told me.

I've heard of the place before: some millionaire bought acres of land and made it into a racetrack open to the public. I never knew anyone who raced. That is, not until that day.

"Race? As in cars?"

"We...we're not pros or anything?" Li-kun smiled, rubbing the side of his neck nervously. 

I realized then that this must be something he enjoyed. Something he loved doing. He intrigued me and I wanted to know more about him. "Can you show me the track? Can I see you race?"

* * 

Author's jibberish (again): If you know where I got the story idea from, don't spill please! I'll tell everyone later!

**Preview of next Chapter**

I was completely surprised when she asked me to take her racing. It was an interesting feeling; this beautiful girl wanted to know about me. 

Racing is a powerful part of me. Without racing, I don't know where I'd be. It gave me something to look forward to after work. I mean, I like my job, but I sometimes I want to get away from it. It's the same feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster but the only difference is that I'm in control and I know what the car will do because I command it to do so. 

So I decided that it would be good to take her to the track to watch me race. If she wanted, I would let her ride with me as I drove. You know, to share with her. But why would I want to share with a total stranger? I don't know, but love wasn't part of the plan...


	3. Part 3

Instinct

Author's jibberish: Whoa, boy, I hope you can tell that it's Syaoran and Sakura switching narrations. Chapter 1 was Syaoran, Chapter 2 was Sakura. So guess who's next? Syaoran! Boy, you're smart!

I was completely surprised when she asked me to take her racing. It was an interesting feeling; this beautiful girl wanted to know about me. 

Racing is a powerful part of me. Without racing, I don't know where I'd be. It gave me something to look forward to after work. I mean, I like my job, but I sometimes I want to get away from it. It's the same feeling you get when you're on a roller coaster but the only difference is that I'm in control and I know what the car will do because I command it to do so. 

So I decided that it would be good to take her to the track to watch me race. If she wanted, I would let her ride with me as I drove. You know, to share with her. But why would I want to share with a total stranger? I don't know, but love wasn't part of the plan. 

We took the van and drove to Tomoeda Raceway. When we showed her the garage Eriol and I shared, she was stumped. "Hoe?!?!" she exclaimed. "These cars are yours?"

"Yeah." What is 'hoe' anyway? Regardless, I thought it was cute. "We didn't buy them like this, though. We've been working on it for a little over two years."

"They look so cool!" Kinomoto-san exclaimed.

And then the idea struck me. "Would you like a ride?"

Her eyes widened like a little girl. "Really? Can I?" 

"Sure," I opened the passenger's side. "Hop in." She cheerfully sat in the seat and buckled up, ready to ride. I got in the driver's seat and inserted the key, bringing the car to life. Her eyes sparkled in anticipation as I peeled out onto the race track. We laped around one time before I heard a honking horn. I could see Hiiragizawa in my rear-view mirror. I shift from fourth to fifth gear. 

Kinomoto laughed merrily. "He's gaining on us!"

It's a guy thing, you know, to impress a girl. So, I teased Hiiragizawa a bit, by letting him catch up until we were neck and neck. I had already moved to sixth gear and he was still catching up. Then, I heard her say "Find a way to beat him!"

So, I swerved the car towards his. He panicked by slowing down and I dusted him at the last turn. We crossed the line and Hiiragizawa, when he got to the finish line, was looking slightly annoyed. "Are you blazing mad?"

"I knew what I was doing!" I smiled. "You weren't scared, were you?"

Sakura shook her head. "Nope. I knew you'd do well."

We continued seeing each other for weeks after that. Almost every day in fact. Once, I was in the black room, developing some of the photos I've taken over the past few weeks. I poured some picture developing liquid in the container and waited for the photo to develop. The image that appeared was of Kinomoto, the very 'accident' shot I took that one day at the park. I placed the container on the upper shelf near my extra film as I received a phone call. I flipped my cell phone open. 

"Syaoran-kun? Are you busy?"

"No." I was so focused on Kinomoto's voice.

I had agreed to pick her up after her shift at work. After our conversation, I saw Hiiragizawa standing at the door. "Well, well..." he teased. "I do believe Cupid has struck."

I frowned. "What?"

"Not only struck once, but probably 10 times right in the ass," he smiled. "Ladies and gents, the Little Wolf is in love."

He sweared that his wit is heaven-sent. "You're an idiot, Hiiragizawa. She's just a friend."

"Is she?"

"What else would she be?"

"Potential girlfriend, you twit!" Eriol growled. "There is finally a girl that likes you after the 4 years I've known you. Are you blind and stupid?"

It's true. I hadn't had a girlfriend in over 4 years. But I'll explain that later. "How would you know that? She doesn't even like me."

"Ever since she walked in on our photo shoot, she's been coming over almost everyday we're open. She loves going to the racetrack. She even let you drive her around more than once, which is a lot to say, because we drive like we could die without care." 

He started getting me paranoid. I mean, she was cute, and cheerful, but why would she like me?

So, that night, it started to rain which was kinda strange for late spring. I had brought an extra umbrella for her to use, so when I handed it to her, I told her "So it's not a big struggle of getting wet." 

She obviously didn't appreciate it. She kindly gave back the extra umbrella and said, "Nevermind. I'll go home."

"I'll walk with you," I offered.

"No," she snapped. 

I knew something was wrong. As she walked down the sidewalk in the pouring rain, I chased after her. "Kinomoto! Tell me what's wrong!" 

She spun around to face me, annoyance painted on her features. "You just don't get it, do you Syaoran-kun?"

"What, is it the umbrellas?"

"No!" she then took it back. "Well, kinda..." she pushed her fingers against her temples as she held back a sneeze. "I know it's only been a little over a month but...I like you," she told me. "I mean, really like you."

I must have stood there in the rain for a full 20 seconds, with my mouth open like an idiot. 

"Please, say something," she pleaded.

And the words "I'm sorry" were the first ones that came out. Her reaction was her head hanging in defeat. "It's not that I don't like you," I explained. "It's just...I have bad experience with woman. I always followed my gut instinct in everything but whenever I do that with women, it blows up in my face. So, I want to think this whole thing out, ok? Before anything else, let's be good friends."

She took my request pretty well and smiled. Kinomoto was ok with it because we continued seeing each other.

But it would change very soon.

It had been probably a whole 2 months since we first met. She was at the studio with me, at my desk, when I was in the back room, cleaning out my lens. By now, she knew where everything was. When I needed a new bulb for my flash, she would go into the back black room and retrieve one for me. We planned to go out for dinner after I was done. When I finished cleaning the lens, I emerged from the back room and saw she was wearing my jean sweater. 

"Oh, sorry, I spilled my mocha on my jacket," she said, pointing to my desk. "Is it okay if I can wear yours for now?"

"Sure," my eyes turned to my desk and saw her now 1/2 filled mocha bottle and stained jacket. I also saw a picture of her and me taped together, hanging off my corkboard. It was cute, I gotta admit. 

"So, is it all clean?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah."

"So, should we get going?"

"Wait," I stopped her from walking and held my camera up. "Can I take some shots of you wearing my jacket?" To be honest, I liked how she looked in it. _My_ jacket was on this pretty girl.

"Oh, ok," she held the jacket tightly around her and shoved her hands in the pockets. 

As I was taking shots, her bangs fell against her face. I took the liberty of brushing them aside, away from her eyes and then the strangest feeling took over me. I looked into her green eyes for the longest time and it was as if I was in a trance. She smiled at me with the sweetest sparkle in her eyes. "Are you done?" she asked.

I snapped out of my trance. "Oh yeah," I stepped back. "A few more."

I took another shot and the camera began to hum. "Ergh, ran out," he grumbled.

"It's ok, I'll get another roll. In the black room, right?" she scurried away out of sight.

"Yeah, thanks." I listened for the film to finish winding up as I sat back down in my desk. Then, a chill ran down my back as I heard a clatter and a painful scream coming from the back room.

It still hurts thinking about it. I sat there, guilt washing over me, as Hiiragizawa talked with the doctor. I couldn't really verbalize at all; it was an impossible task at the moment in time. I found her in the back room. Items were scattered all over the floor and she was curled up, whimpering in agony. 

It was a few hours after we sped her to the hospital. Hiiragizawa approached me, and a dark, restless look was in his eyes. "The...the picture developer...in her eyes... the doctor said she will be blind..."

I felt all the life in me drain right out of my system. I secluded myself into the studio, just thinking of how an idiot I was. I remembered that I was the one who used that bottle and didn't recap it as I answered the phone. I was a total fool! How could I have been so absent-minded! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I sat, head in my hands, just blaming myself over and over again for my carelessness.

Days later, Hiiragizawa came up to me. "We have to pick out the final shots."

I was silent.

Then, he punched my desk, cracking it. "Dammit, would you talk! I know what happened looks really bad--"

"Looks bad?!" I jumped out of my seat. "What would you know? How would you feel if you forever maimed a girl who genuinely cared for you?" 

"You made a mistake! There's nothing you can do!" he told me. But I soon realized that there had to be a way to help her.

After I fixed my clutch, I raced around the track, just thinking about Kinomoto. This girl didn't deserve any of this. She cared for me and...I pushed her away. I began to think I was a complete bonehead and maybe hoped for a second chance. But there would be no chance in hell; I blinded her. Why would she want me? I told her to wait and in the process took her sight away. She probably hated me. Knowing that I ruined this chance hurt so badly; I didn't realize such a feeling existed. It was probably about 20 minutes of driving that I realized what I could do. I screeched to a halt near the garage. 

I finally followed my gut instinct...and I wasn't afraid.

Within days, I sold my car and I was packing up at the studio. The white desk was now bare with nothing on it. Nothing was on the corkborad beside that picture she taped up. Eriol walked up beside me as he watched me pull apart the cut-out figures. He winced at the sight of me closing my bags up. I flung the strap over my shoulder and turned to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. "Thanks," I told him, "for everything."

"Reconsider this," he ordered. "There has to be another way."

"No there isn't," I told him.

"Your car-! All that work--" he argued.

"Is worth the money she needs," I told him. 

"You're not even sure it'll work."

"But I got to try, don't I? I already explained this to you."

I can still remember how sad his face was. His eyes were turned to the floor. He silently nodded. 

"Take care of her for me?" I requested.

"Of course," he muttered. 

I told him goodbye and walked out of the studio.

It has been 3 months since I've worked with him and 3 months since I have been behind a camera. I've only talked to him once since I left. He still races here at Tomoeda Raceway. I, on the other hand, have stopped. I haven't met Kinomoto since I saw her last in the hospital. Everytime I sit here at the raceway, I think about her. It hurts but it's getting easier. I know things are well with her.

I toss the soft ball that was clutched in my hands away from me...

* *

Author's jibberish(again): Last chapter, coming next...

**Preview of next Chapter**

He wasn't there when I needed him the most...


	4. Part 4

Caring Instinct

He wasn't there when I needed him the most...

I was blinded. I thought after leaving the studio that I would never be able to see again. I would never be able to see the sun rise, or people walk down the street. How would I go on? I know there are people out there who are blind but...I never had to experience that before. I thought I would be helpless; I didn't think I could adjust. But before I knew it, I did see light.

The doctor told me that it is possible to have my eyes surgically worked on. He said there is a possible donor who could be used. I was scared; that type of surgery isn't cheap and the money I earned at Beautiful could never cover it. However, the doctor insisted that there had been anonymous charity funding recently and it could pay for it. I took my chances and I did have the surgery performed on me.

I felt the nurse pull off the gauze around my head. Then, the doctor pulled off the patches on my eyes. "Kinomoto-san?"

I blinked a couple of times. Everything was fuzzy.

"Kinomoto-san? I'm your doctor, Genjhi."

"Sensei," I muttered, "I...I can..."

"Now, things will be blurry for a few hours but it's just because your eyes have to readjust. You should be fine by tonight," he said proudly. "You'll be just fine."

I started rolling my eyes to the left, then the right. I started moving them in different angles. Then, Eriol-kun walked in, handing me a bouquet of roses. "Sakura-san, I'm glad you're well!"

I just smiled back and smelled the flowers. "Thank you." My eyes trailed behind him; no one was with him. "Um...where's Syaoran-kun?"

His face fell. He explained to me that he left without a trace. No sign of new address, nothing. He even stopped showing up at the weekly races at the track. At least, that's what Eriol-kun told me. I was crushed. I was feeling completely numb all over. My eyes suddenly started producing tears. I worried whether that was okay or not; maybe the salt would irritate them. But at that moment in time, I didn't care. 

Why did he leave so abruptly? Well, why did it really matter? I was, after all, just a friend. Maybe he ran because he thought I would be too attached to him; I was blinded in his black room after all. Or maybe...he didn't like me period. But that's impossible! He didn't completely reject me when I told him that I liked him. He told me he wanted to take things slow. And I felt something in his eyes as he looked at me that evening at the studio, before that unfortunate incident. Maybe I'm just hopeful, or a complete fool. If anything, he saw me as a friend. 

If he was my friend, then why didn't he visit me? Or sent me a card? A post-it note? Anything! I can't accept the fact that he didn't care!

I visited the raceway, only to find Eriol's Supra. The Skyline was nowhere in sight. I went to the studio a few weeks after I left the hospital. Eriol-kun let me in and I immediately headed to his desk. I saw, on Syaoran-kun's desk, the cut-out photos of him and me completely separated. In fact, only mine was left. My shaking fingers touched the glossy sheet of paper. I bit my lip, holding back my tears. 

Just then, a magazine with the model Daidouji Tomoyo was handed to me. I looked up at Eriol-kun, who weakly smiled. "Page 23," he told me. I flipped to it and saw a picture of me at the Tomoeda Raceway. "Li-kun wanted you to be added to the teen hot-spot photo section." Then, he looked at me from under his glasses with the most serious stare. "Sakura-san, racing is important. It's all about following your instinct, no matter what it says."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing. Tomorrow is Friday and at 4 o'clock is when the weekly races start. Will you be there?"

I cringed. There were so many fond memories of him on that racetrack. "I...don't know."

"I won't force you to go," he told me. Then, a glint appeared in his eyes as he said, "but I suggest you do."

And I followed my instinct, which told me to go. That is why I'm standing here at the top bleacher of Tomoeda Raceway. It is now 3:00. I know I'm early. I didn't do it on purpose. I just got off my shift and thought I would head straight here. I start walking down the steps when I see a figure sitting at the very first bench on the ground floor. He has a good seat, maybe I'll sit near him. He's even playing with his dog. He tosses a ball into the air for his dog to catch.

Then a strong wind picks up as I'm standing about two rows away from him. A piece of paper lands at my feet. I pick it up and take a closer look at it. Then, a gasp escapes my throat. It's a picture of me, my head turned to the camera and I can see the King Penguin slide in the background. 

The man's hand slams on the bench and then starts groping around the surface. "Where the..." he turns, revealing who he is. My insides make a violent twist. It is Syaoran-kun, wearing a dark green t-shirt and blue jeans. His eyes are shaded by the sunglasses perched on his nose. He holds his head high as he shifts his hands around the bench looking for something. 

This photo...his haphazard, random, unorganized searching...the dog...his sunglasses...

I feel like collapsing.

It all adds up. I understand now why it is possible for me to see. I understand why there was a donor who could give me my sight back. I understand why there was enough money for my surgery to go through. I know why he hasn't been working at the studio with Eriol-kun or why he isn't at his garage, fixing up his car. 

I gasp. I can't find any words to say. "Oh my gosh," I whisper as I slowly approach him.

His head arches in my direction. "Is anyone there?"

I can't speak. I just drop the photo near the edge of the bench, near his hand. His fingers feel the graze of the photo paper. He picks it up and gently places it in his pocket.  "Kero!" he calls out. The yellow Labrador retriever comes up to him and rests his head on his knee. Syaoran-kun attaches the leash onto the dog's collar and then stands. "Come on, boy. Let's get something to eat."

They walk right past me. The tears fall freely from my face as my sight blurs from all sanity. 

He gave me sight.

I can't chase after him. The shock makes my legs bend and I collapse on the bench, wrenching my heart in tears. 

He gave it all up for me.

I can still hear an engine roar as it zooms across the track.

* *

**End**

Author's jibberish: For those of you who already figured it out, yes, it's inspired by that Korean song "Because I'm a Girl" by Kiss. I changed a couple of things but all the important stuff stayed. Lack of originality, yeah I know. Sorry about that. I just thought it would be an interesting twist if this song was put into a story. I also thought it'd be cool if I switched the POVs. 

So, in case you didn't understand it...

Syaoran felt so guilty of what happened, he felt he didn't deserve her. However, he wanted to do one last thing for her. He sold his car to pay for the surgery and he had a transplant with Sakura so she could see (his blood type is O, so he could be a donor to her). He gave up his way of life so hers wouldn't change. 

The whole concept makes me wanna cry...      


End file.
